Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Monday, March 10, 2014

an update...

So this tight rope...
It's getting harder and harder to stay balanced...
I was happy for a while.
But why do I always question EVERYTHING?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
good news: A is my boyfriend
bad news: I don't know if I was his first choice, I may or may not have snooped in the weekend and read his text from this girl. She is much younger, still in high school actually, 18. I just need to be positive. But it's hard because all Ana is saying is, how could anyone love you.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

I haven't been this down for a while.
I am lucky to have met an amazing guy A
He is the sweetest.
but Ana, twists things and my perception of things gets super fucked up
also a question...
How do you tell someone, the reason you can't save money is because you spend it all on food......?
And you don't even keep it all down
I am supposed to be going to Mexico in a few days
I have no money saved
and I am uber depressed
I can't handle it anymore
I think I'm on a breaking point
this tightrope I have been dancing on for a while is going to snap

Thursday, January 9, 2014

A Moment on the Lips.... Forever on the Hips

My lovely friend Sunshinechild and I are having a friendly fasting comp
currently in Day Two
I think I might start a variation of the lemon detox next week
I can't afford to be eating... I know that sounds unhealthy but
I feel so lost...  
and just awful about how fat I have gotten
I know this is my year but right now I feel so gross


Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Let us start from the Beginning...

Hey! I'm C! 

This is my haven. A place for me to vent and hopefully meet some more lovely girls who would like to talk, and maybe help each other along the way! ;) 
I have had this blog for about 2/3 years now... but I feel like that I needed a clean slate. So here I am! Some of you already know who I am but still.... here goes!

I am 21 years old, I am 178 cm and I currently weigh and it pains me to say 175 lbs. I am about 40 lbs over my lowest and about 45 lbs over my UGW 

My Thinspo's are Cara Delevingne, Barbara Palvin, Megan Fox, Abbey Lee Kershaw... and other skinny pretty models that I am too tired to think of their names ;) thin and beautiful

I don't exercise much but I am going to try and change that 

Today I have eaten a too much.
I don't want to talk about it

I am not proud

This will be my year.

And I know it's late but here are my resolutions

1. 8-10 glasses of water a day!
2. Get down to 130 lbs
3. Exercise 5-6 days a week

Happy New Year Lovelies